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"What if bears have people spray?"
What is your favorite word?
Interesting things to ponder or laugh at depending on what kind of person you are
"I swear I heard a baby crying in my refrigerator today."
-Chelsea
"I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out."
-Unknown
"My head is crying."
-Stealth Pigeon
"I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone."
-Unknown
"Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't."
-Unknown
"You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter."
-Unknown
"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy, and I said that I wanted a second opinion. He said, 'Okay, you're ugly too.'"
-Rodney Dangerfield
"The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest."
-Roseanne Barr
"How could someone paint my butt without me noticing?"
-Parker
"Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?"
-Anonymous
"There is a difference between very difficult and impossible. Winning a Nobel Prize is very difficult, eating the Sun is impossible."
-Anonymous
"Sometimes I wonder, 'Why is that frisbee getting bigger?' And then it hits me."
-Anonymous
"Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."
-Anonymous
"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is."
-Ellen DeGeneres
"Experts say you should never hit your child in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?"
-Roseanne Barr
"I'm a godmother. That's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute. I taught her that."
-Ellen DeGeneres
"Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?"
-Benny Hill
"I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want- an adorable pancreas?"
-Jean Kerr
"Whoever said, 'Nothing's impossible,' never tried nailing Jell-O to a tree."
-Lisa Bryant
"I smell hot!"
-Me (Long story, no comment)
-Nils
"Fragile. Do not drop."
-Posted on a Boeing 757
"I have opinions of my own, strong opinions. I just don't always agree with them."
-George W. Bush
"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."
-Louis Hector Berlioz
"All generalizations are false, including this one."
-Anonymous
"It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off."
-Anonymous
"Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?"
-Anonymous
"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."
-Anonymous
Places you should also go
Blog Archive
About Me
- Bootstrapper
- I was born on the moon, although I did live on Saturn for the first three years of my life. When I was four we came here to spy on the innocent people- I mean to live a nice, quiet life.
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