Leopardfly Definitive: Oh My Fishin' God.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

Oh My Fishin' God.

As I was finishing up my last post, my dad called to me from Grandma's basement. He said he had some things I would be interested in. So I went down and he showed me two Beatles 45 records, one with the songs I'll Get You and She Loves You and the other with I Should Have Known Better and A Hard Day's Night. There was also a Meet The Beatles record in playable shape. I AM SO HAPPY!!! THIS IS UNBELIEVEABLE!!!!

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Interesting things to ponder or laugh at depending on what kind of person you are

"I swear I heard a baby crying in my refrigerator today."

-Chelsea

"I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out."

-Unknown

"My head is crying."

-Stealth Pigeon

"I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone."

-Unknown

"Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't."

-Unknown

"You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter."

-Unknown

"My psychiatrist told me I was crazy, and I said that I wanted a second opinion. He said, 'Okay, you're ugly too.'"

-Rodney Dangerfield

"The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest."

-Roseanne Barr

"How could someone paint my butt without me noticing?"

-Parker

"Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?"

-Anonymous

"There is a difference between very difficult and impossible. Winning a Nobel Prize is very difficult, eating the Sun is impossible."

-Anonymous

"Sometimes I wonder, 'Why is that frisbee getting bigger?' And then it hits me."

-Anonymous

"Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."

-Anonymous

"My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is."

-Ellen DeGeneres

"Experts say you should never hit your child in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?"

-Roseanne Barr

"I'm a godmother. That's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute. I taught her that."

-Ellen DeGeneres

"Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?"

-Benny Hill

"I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want- an adorable pancreas?"

-Jean Kerr

"Whoever said, 'Nothing's impossible,' never tried nailing Jell-O to a tree."

-Lisa Bryant

"I smell hot!"

-Me (Long story, no comment)

"What if bears have people spray?"

-Nils

"Fragile. Do not drop."

-Posted on a Boeing 757

"I have opinions of my own, strong opinions. I just don't always agree with them."

-George W. Bush

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils."

-Louis Hector Berlioz

"All generalizations are false, including this one."

-Anonymous

"It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off."

-Anonymous

"Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?"

-Anonymous

"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died."

-Anonymous